Well, well, well. Here I am, almost exactly a year after my last post, dealing with the same shit.
In the past year, I’ve been knocked down over and over. Fell in love at least 6 times. Moved to Minneapolis (oh haaaay Minnecrapolis!). Gotten three additional stretch marks and have finally begun living by my Jedo’s credo: “no matter what you do, do it to the best of your ability”.
I still have the cutest cat ever, the best friends ever, a forever changing (and confusing) relationship with my family, and a heart that can’t figure out whether it wants to be open or closed.
What have I learned? Oh GAH. Well, besides that it takes some major D-sucking to make your bosses happy, I’ve learned that if your heart snaps shut, sometimes you need it to be shut. I’ve learned that, aside from disasters and other health-issues that seem really unfair, life is only as happy as you make it.
I have a good friend who has recently set on a path to change, to evolve (is the word that he uses). And it’s absolutely inspiring. I’ve seen him trying to be happy for the past year, and he seemed to be doing all of the right things (keeping his body moving, keeping his mind sharp, not watching a ridiculous amount of TV…) and now he seems to be making the right changes. That kind of transformation is beautiful, and it makes me want to be a part of it. Remember a year ago when I had the shitty Christmas break and I used compassion to get over myself and feel better in the process? Sometimes you forget about that stuff. And I think it’s time to remember.
The lesson? Working towards happiness does not end; life is fluid, and we never stop trying to be happy –otherwise, what would we do with our lives? It’s a journey, bitches. A shitty, painful, gorgeous, lovely, totally worth it journey.