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So I have this friend… she’s fucking awesome.  She’s strong and hilarious and just pretty much badass.  She was moved away from Denver at the same time that I was, and whenever one or both of us is having a total shit day, we call each other to bitch but end up laughing our asses off.  Ma’lord, I freaking value this bitch.

I know I’ve said this before, but I’m so fucking lucky.  It seems like every time I have a shitty day, I get a text from a hilarious cousin, or a good friend, or my amazing coworker calls me and forces me off my ass and out for a walk….and I don’t think that I stop and appreciate this as much as I should.  I have coworkers who call me to make sure I’m ok if my numbers suck.  I have family who are hilarious.  I have friends who listen to me bitch like a douche…and I have idiot best friends who shamelessly creep on people or take stupid christmas card pictures with me….

christmas tree

Tonight, after deciding I was going to just hang out at home and drink as much water as I can (I’m trying to hydrate) and watch The Breakfast Club, my friend called me because she’d locked herself out of her house.  Of course, I got up and drove to her to pick her up, but I realized that I don’t do these good-friend duties enough.  I’m so alone all of the time that I don’t help my friends out.  Frankly, I’m sick of hearing about drama, and first-world problems, and other peoples’ problems [remember: I’m apathetic and irritated and pretty much a fucking asshole].  But tonight I realized that I feel good helping my friends.  I like helping them out, and if I can just see past my stupid problems, I can be of use to my friends.

So now I’m trying to get over my shit and work on listening.  I want to be there for my friends. I want to be the kind of friend that texts people when they’re having a bad day and makes them smile.  Look — I’m not good at saying the right thing.  My bff, Briz, can tell you that I’m actually pretty bad at it and my jokes are pretty much always inappropriate for the situation….but I want to help.

There was a time when all I wanted was to be a positive in every life that I touch.  Idk about you, but I think that’s valid and kind of noble as fuck (don’t wanna toot my own horn, but…..beep beep man…)

Now if I can just get over myself first…..

Be selfless, darlings,  and be kind, and be brilliant….

xoL

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