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I spent the weekend in beautiful Bozeman, Montana.   If you haven’t been, you’re goddamn crazy because it’s the more beautiful place I’ve ever been. 

Now, I’m sipping a bloody mary on the way home (filled with olives because the flight attendant is AWESOME.) and the lesson I’ve learned is this: I’ve been through two sessions of therapy (and, believe me, i need therapy and will keep going) but this weekend was the most I could eat and keep down in a week.  The entire weekend, I  had no stomach aches — after a week of eating nothing.  I think it had something to do with being surrounded by beautiful mountains and hanging out with a wonderful friend that I respect the shit out of.

I talked out my recent love and remembered that love is never clean and that it’s ok if I feel love in my current situation.  That it’s not necessarily something I can help.  I’m realizing that my version of love isn’t as normal as someone who didn’t have my upbringing, but it’s still very legitimate. 

My God, this bloody mary mix is amazing.   who knew?  Frontier Airlines’ bloody mary mix is awesome.  And I’m listening to shittons of Of Montreal which is AMAZING (listen, it’ll make you so happy).

In the end, I think, you can’t help who you fall in love with. This is something I’ve realized again and again: with women, then with men….over and again — you can’t help who you connect with.  The important thing is that you connect.  And you’re a positive person in those peoples’ lives, because those are the people that you’re going to influence most.  This weekend, I realized that I’m the person I am (and, surprisingly, people LIKE me) because I love people for who they are, not what they do….for their best qualities, not their downfalls.

….I’m just glad I can eat something today without vomming my face off.

stay free, my loves.  That’s what makes you[and life] beautiful.

 

xx

LeeAnn

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