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Las Vegas was a shit show.  I don’t even think I told you I was going, my lovely blogites.  And still….it was a shit show.

I feel very thankful that I have coworkers that I get along with so well.  It goes to show that I will find amazing people wherever I am – and I’m truly TRULY thankful for this group.  It hasn’t been long that I’ve felt like I am cool enough to hang out with the awesome friends I have.  I think I’ll forever feel like the little sister trying to hang out with the awesome kids.

….Las Vegas wassssss crazy.  I drank for 3 days (pretty much) and wined and dined dealers, and got closer with my bosses (which is very important for me, so mission: accomplished) and had fun with my friends, and made some really bad decisions, and had a one- night love/makeout fest…I made memories and didn’t lose too much money…or dignity.


And I did.  I wore bright red when everyone else wore black….I was in lipstick-mode for a bunch of it [many of my friends know that when I’m wearing the lipstick, I’m out to party…..shit. gets. crazy.]  I listened to “Wanna Have a Kiki” by the Scissor Sisters the entire time.

And then, the life-changer: My problem was that I got into a really uncomfortable situation with someone that I don’t know at all and it’s sparked all kinds of reflection on my part. I will most likely never see this person again…I’m looking at life differently because of it.

So now, I’m thinking about love more. I’m thinking about family.  I’m cherishing comfort and friends that I can just be around and talk to. I’m thinking a lot about life and karma and compassion.  And I can feel it in my heart (it’s been sooooo long).

Side note: I’ve been watching Boardwalk Empire and am IN LOVE with Owen Slaeter.  Le. Sigh.  [I think it’s the smile, sometimes I think to myself: my soulmate will be a person with a good smile.  And people will look at us and think “there go the two with the great smiles…”]  And…..cue the fantastic smile:

It’s like I’m suddenly attracted to the youthful sweet type…where like a month ago I was attracted to the strong no-bullshit type.

Things are happening as they’re supposed to.  I’m more worried about the future than I’ve ever been, but I’m also more trusting of it.

The love notes.

As you know, I now have an art studio. The previous tenant left boxes of her stuff in it.  So, last Friday, I was in my studio painting with an amazing friend and going through all of the boxes, when I found the previous tenant’s journal and some love notes.

They were so sweet and written in such emotional language.  It’s so refreshing to read such emotional honesty.  It’s like we’re all so numb and plugged up…and…to be honest I miss that stuff.  I just…. kind of miss it.

And now for the time when I list the stuff I’m going to try to focus on:  I want to get back to being so thankful for living. I want to adore the people around me for who they are.  I want to paint, with all that I have…all of my heart and soul. I want to live with compassion and still be strong and still do well at my job.  I want to be great.

Annnnnnnd that’s that. Sorry for the lack of post lately.  I’ll post more soon.

Stay sweet my wonderful little blog monsters.