Do you ever just feel like an outrageous douche when something good happens to you? I tend to feel a certain amount of guilt when my life is going well, when I have a lucky streak or when I’m happy. Ahhhh born for stress and survival, we are. If it’s not hard, we don’t know what to do.
So do we make it hard? Fuck no. We practice gratitude and get our bearings when it’s tough again.
Aaaaand gratitude: I feel incredibly lucky lately. I feel like I’m surrounded by everyone that means something special to me. I’m lucky for my fam, each one of my friends…my coworkers. I really have nothing to complain about. It’s a strange feeling. And on nights like these (when I feel absolutely happy), I get worried because some movie, at some part in my life, told me that when things get peaceful and happy — that’s when you die. You must’ve learned your lessons, you’re done.
OBVS this isn’t true (regardless of how much it still scares the shit out of me…). And because this is my blog, I make the rules. And I say that this is the point when we stop focusing on ourselves and start being the most amazing person we can be to everyone else.
….I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. But it’s time. It’s time to change some shit up. Be the best person I can be (again), and fucking change some lives. Heart open and shit.
Probably won’t be by dating anyone. You see, I’m back on OKCupid and it’s just…awkward. Everything in ma’bod is telling me to just chill and wait for what’s going to happen next…instead of search it out in the form of awkward dates initiated on OKcupes. Shudder. awkward.
Love you my little bloggites. Stay amazing, and do some epic shit.