*note: I wish everyone would download the Avett Brothers and listen to them while reading this post. it’s just soooo perfect.*
I had zero time at work today. This is how my new position is going to be. I won’t have time for emails or texting, I won’t be on facebook and I sure as hell won’t be blogging. I’m nonstop going.
I went straight from work to softball. Where I learned that, with my cankle, I am the slowest person on the team. No, seriously. The guy who hit after me almost lapped me. it was like rookie of the year. But still, I busted my ass trying to do well – the way I used to play.
I left the softball game with a total loss with what to do. Whaaaa? I don’t have someone standing over my shoulder telling me what to do every second. WHAT do i do? Drink? Sleep? Cry? I felt like doing all three. So I texted some faves and asked if they wanted to do a beer, but I decided to go home.
Brielle, my roomie, came home and suggested the pool.
So we got our goblets of wine and headed towards the pool. We hung out, had some good convo, made some friends, made some jokes as per the uszh (short for usual) and just chilled.
REWIND: I’ve been feeling like there’s a big part of myself that I’m missing lately. Like I miss the time when I could just have peace…like when I was 15 and stuck at my parents house and swimming at night by myself because I was grounded. Dreaming of my life, just waiting for it to start. I keep thinking: this is it, this my life has started. How do you feel about it, LeeAnn?
Tonight I got up from the hot tub, where everyone was and cannon balled into the pool by myself. Probably obnoxiously. When I came up, I looked at the sky. The same sky that I pointed to and told my wonderful friend on Friday “look, that’s the sky that I always end up painting.” light around the edges. Deep and dark in the center. perfect for stars.
Here it is, LeeAnn. Here it is. I felt the fifteen year old me, just as confused as I am now, not so different from who I am now, and I felt peaceful.
I don’t know how. I don’t know why. And I definitely DID NOT see this coming. But this, right here, might be where I’m supposed to be. And nothing’s set in stone, and it’s all so perfect.
my my my heart like a kickdrum.
Sleep sweetly blogites. And listen to tons of Avett Brothers. Le sigh.