It’s time for some good, hearty honesty. This blog, or really I, put(s) a shit ton of pressure on me to constantly have an open heart. Really, only sometimes do I have an open heart. Usually, I’m all totally douchey, like always hanging by myself, not wanting to hang out with people and…I say that I hate at least one thing every day. Most of the time it’s the guys that I work with via the phone at work. And I’m not joking.
What. A. Dick.
But, this little blogsicle keeps me thinking about it. It’s hard to just up and quit something when you’ve got peeps reading your shiz…so, accountability. yeah. I’m always looking for ways to keep my heart open (I hope that comes through in my writing) and, though sometimes it snaps shut like a dick, it always seems to open again.
In a new attempt to open ma’heart, I’ve begun reading A New Earth (for like, the 3rd time). It’s an Oprah’s Book Club book, it’s pretty awesome, and I do feel like it changes my life (and/or my perspective) when I read it. I don’t know if it does that for everyone, it just makes sense to me.
So, I’m about 100 pgs in and I’m leeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrning. I’m learning about expectations, and roles and the bs pressures that our ego puts on us…and it’s making me peaceful…and happy.
Sometimes you’ve gotta just be. I’m really working on not getting clouded up with all of the extra BS, I’m working on being happy with the present and not freaking out about the future or the past. This book’s pretty sweet.
I’m also setting up some more volunteering. I’ve been looking at an outdoor volunteering place (what’s better than to work out while helping people!?), and I will hopefully be doing some stuff for the Boulder LGBT center.
Sometimes I think I’m this awesome, totally peaceful, all knowing person. OBVS, this is not true. In reality, I’m just this jabroni. Honesty? I have no fucking idea what I’m doing or where I’m going. But I do know that I feel the best when I’m just being me. When I’m free. When I’m feeling thankful for the wonderful world around me.
…and I’m thankful for this little blog, for keeping me accountable. And I’m thankful for you, you little blog monsters of love.
(I promise they’ll get more fun soon, I’ve got some travel shenanigans happening next week…get readdddyyyyyy)