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I feel obligated to write a post with a list of my wishes and expectations for 2012.  But that’s fucking boring.  So it’s not happening. Instead, another post full of weird pics and douchiness.

LOVE

Love.  I’m bitter right now.  I’m bitter because I was super into awkward adorbz girl and it didn’t work out. (balls.) At least I think it didn’t work out.  Everything was going great (or so I thought) and then she stopped texting back.  So…i guess that means it didn’t work out.  So now, I have this new girl who I knew in high school and seems pretty awesome and is pretty different from any girl I’ve ever dated, but I’m snapping shut.

..and god dammit, it sucks when you get ignored for no reason.  Aaaaaand, I’m pouting. I’m over it.

forever alone

Times like these – when I get rejected, I just focus my love on other things.  Like my family, or my kitteh, or, you know… MYSELF.  (but I’ve gotta keep the love flowing. It’s kind of a use-it or lose-it sort of thing, you know, like vacation days or an erection. what? heh.)

There are a so many other things out there to love.  And, you know what?  While I’m a little hurt – I’m still here.  And I’m fighting like hell to keep this heart open.

Honesty.  Somehow, I always forget that being honest with myself is the most important.  I’m painting like a boss – which is pretty fantastic, seeing as how I have a lack of muse in my life right now.  But I’m not taking the time to explore my emotions like I once did.  And I’m missing passion.  I’m bringing this shit back.

My 2012 resolution  change that is needed regardless of the year or day is to be outrageously honest and compassionate with myself and others.  As I’ve mentioned recently, it all starts with loving yourself.   So, let’s get on it, lovelies!

Future. ugh. I hate this one.  My biggest problem right now (yes, even bigger than being forever alone…which, really, I don’t think I’ll mind much) is that I have no idea what to do with my life.  I know I want to help people. I want to be amazingly positive in the lives of the people around me, but shit.  My next steps – not clear.  At all.

The only thing I can do is to make moves and see how this amazing journey develops.

….still bitter.  But I will live. (lucky you.)

Until next time, my little wonderful blogmeisters.

xx

LeeAnn

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